DREEM BUGG AWARENESS PAGE

ATENTION!!

DREEM BUGGS ARE CREATURES THAT WILL STEAL YOUR DREAMS!! The government is trying to COVER IT UP to avoid a WIDESPREAD PANIC!! STAY ALERT AND SAFE!!

HOW TO STAY SAFE

• EAT LOTS OF LISTERIA BACTERIA! Listeria sounds like listerene so it probably cleans your teeth! and it keeps dreem buggs away, because listeria is chease's mortal enemy and dreem buggs LOVE chease!
• GROW BLACK MOLD ON YOUR WALLS!!!! Black mold makes a lovley house plant AND dreem buggs HATE it because it rivals their toxic and deadly properties!
• MAKE A CALL TO YOUR FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND TRY TO GET THEM TO BAN DREEM BUGGS!! Dreem buggs HATE being theoretically banned from places!!
• BRUSH YOUR TEETH WITH LEAD AND MICROPLASTICS!!!! Dreem buggs enter your dreams through your mouth like spiders so this will poison them so they can't get in!! The perfect solution!!!
• FILL YOUR ROOM WITH CARBON MONOXIDE!!!! This will keep the dreem buggs out of your room so that they can't even get IN! Because they will suffocate!!!
• ASPHYXIATE THE BUGGS (with carbon monoxide mentioned above)! This will definently kill them because they will not be able to breathe!!!

WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU HAVE BEEN DREEM BUGGED

• If you have been bugged, you will know immediatley. SYMPTOMS INLUDE! Can't remember dreams, difficulty falling asleep, headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and noise, random allergy to specific types of tea, fear of the dark. (NOTE THAT THESE ARE SIMILAR TO CONCUSSION SYMPTOMS, BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME!!)
• SO WHAT DO YOU DO??? To get the dreem buggs out, simply take two full bottles of ibuprofen. After a couple days, you will be cured!!

This webpage is a work of fiction. Any referances to historical events, real people, or real locales are used fictionaly. Other name characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author's imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirley coincidental.